Hi, I’m Dr. Parik Patel, BA, CFA, ACCA, Esq. If you don’t know me already, I’m a Chartered FinMeme Analyst (CFA) with a particular expertise in #stonk valuation (pro-tip: just multiply by two). Anyways, I’ve been told that I have a particularly special insight into the world of finance and memes, so the team at Bullish asked me to create a regular round-up to help explain what the hell happened this week… and then offer my “diagnosis” of the virality.
This week we saw an unlikely combination of stonk news and thirst traps, with the GameStop and AMC stock prices down by more than 80% after media coverage pushed the message that, apparently, not all stocks go up. Dogecoin, the adorable dog-themed cryptocurrency, saw a boost after Elon Musk meme’d the coin into legitimacy in true Elon Musk fashion. And to top it all off, in an extraordinary break-the-internet Kim Kardashian moment, SPAC King Chamath Palihapitiya decided to post a thirst-trap, effectively putting himself in competition with Jeff Bezos’ selfie game and hot bod.
Once again, big stuff is going down, but what does it MEME? So, without further ado, let’s dive into Dr. Parik’s Meme Diagnosis of the Week…
Summary: GameStop once again makes a feature in this week’s rundown. The video game retailer was down by more than 80% this week after investors realized that a company with a terminal value of zero probably shouldn’t be valued at $24 billion. We’re yet to hear the earnings (or losses) made by former adult actress Mia Khalifa, who tweeted in support of the short squeeze, but Barstool Sports’ Dave Portnoy endured heavy losses of $700,000 from buying meme stocks at the top.
Dr. Parik’s Diagnosis: As the great Ben Graham once said, “When everyone from your mom to the shoe-shine kid is talking about stocks, it’s a sure-sign to GTFO”. We’d do well to heed those wise words.
Summary: In an interesting turn of events for Amazon, after posting record earnings and destroying analyst expectations, Jeff Bezos, the bald-headed tycoon, has decided to step down from his role as CEO. The news comes shortly after Jeffy B lost his top dog status as “richest dude in the world.” He’ll be replaced by Andy Jassy, the former head of Amazon’s most lucrative business division, AWS.
Dr. Parik’s Diagnosis: At the ripe old age of 57, Jeff Bezos has finally decided to throw in the towel and step down as CEO. You can retire before him. How, you might ask? It’s fairly simple: If you skip your daily pumpkin spiced latte with hemp milk, activated charcoal, and chocolate shavings, you can save $5 a day to invest passively in an S&P 500 ETF. The only thing standing between you and financial freedom is a cup of coffee. And not even a good one.
Summary: With Jeff Bezos getting all the attention, SPAC King (and also my beloved son) Chamath Palihapitiya decided that it was his turn to break the internet by posting a picture of his rock-hard abs, much to the delight of finance-twitter (or “FinTwit,” as the heads say). In a subsequent tweet, he broke down his fitness regime, which consists of running, weights, pilates, boxing, and a daily walk with dad. (Hey, son! Are ya winning??)
Dr. Parik’s Diagnosis: Although it’s clear that Chamath takes a lot of pride in his diet and fitness routine, it’s even clearer that you should never skip leg day. As the great Masquatma Gandhi once said: “I cannot teach you swoleness, for I myself do not always achieve it. I can only teach you to never skip leg day.” Wise words we’ll keep in our mind, body, and soul…
Summary: Elon Musk is not known for being the richest man in the world. He’s known for posting dank memes. Despite saying that he was going “off twitter for a while” just two days ago, Elon Musk, in typical Elon fashion, decided to take it upon himself to meme Dogecoin into legitimacy.
Dr. Parik’s Diagnosis: On the surface, this seems like just another meme. But look deeper and you’ll see something interesting… By memeing himself onto Rafiki, Elon is signalling that he is God’s messenger, helping us to restore peace and tranquility in the kingdom.
Summary: So, where are we in the grand scheme of things? It’s only February and r/WallStreetBets has firmly established itself as the overlord of the global financial system. With Elon Musk already meme’ing Dogecoin into legitimacy, this analyst believes that OnlyFans will soon come to dominate the world economy, too. After all, it’s only natural (OnlyNatural™).
Dr. Parik’s Diagnosis: Many are concerned about the route that we seem to be taking with retail investing, and we’re still arguing if /r/WallStreetBets really does mark a milestone in finance history. But, we’re missing the forest from the trees here. The real powers of online collective action aren’t exemplified by a subreddit influencing the stock market. Rather, they’re highlighted by Twitter users rallying together to complain about a movie just enough so the execs change it. Now, Sonic the Hedgehog is on course to replace Citizen Kane as the best film of all time. If that isn’t digital grassroots mobilization serving the greater good of humanity, then we don’t know what is.
So there you have it! This was the week in memes. Now here’s what the doctor is prescribing:
- When everyone from your mom to the shoe-shine kid is talking about stocks, it’s a sure sign to GTFO
- Make your coffee at home so you can get richer (and retire earlier) than Jeff Bezos
- Never miss leg day
- Prepare yourself and your bank account for the Dogecoin standard