Hi, I’m Dr. Parik Patel, BA, CFA, ACCA, Esq. If you don’t know me already, I’m a Chartered FinMeme Analyst (CFA) with a particular expertise in #stonk valuation (pro-tip: just multiply by two). Anyways, I’ve been told that I have a particularly special insight into the world of finance and memes, so the team at Bullish asked me to create a regular round-up to help explain what the hell happened this week… and then offer my “diagnosis” of the virality.
This has been another action-packed week, featuring fresh tea spills in regards to Bill Gates’ divorce from Melinda, inflation concerns slamming tech stocks, and Elon Musk surprising the global cryptocurrency community by halting Tesla transactions in Bitcoin (citing environmental concerns).
Once again, big stuff is going down, but what does it all MEME? Without further ado, let’s dive into Dr. Parik’s Meme Diagnosis of the Week...
Summary: In case you haven’t heard already, Bill and Melinda Gates are getting divorced after 27 years of marriage. A statement released by Melinda and Bill said that they “no longer believe they can grow together as a couple in this next phase of their lives.” Some media coverage even alleged that Bill told close friends on the golf course that his marriage was “loveless” prior to announcing the divorce.
Dr. Parik’s Diagnosis: Money clearly can’t buy everything. According to a source close to the couple — one who has MD, BA, CFA, and ACCA accreditation, *ahem* — Bill was possibly both micro and soft in the downstairs department. I wish Bill and Melinda all the best as they enter into a new chapter of their lives.
Summary: Tech stocks have taken another hammering as inflation concerns have resurfaced, following an unexpectedly-high inflation reading in the most recent CPI report. The S&P 500 index suffered its biggest one-day decline since February after inflation hit 4.2% for April.
Dr. Parik’s Diagnosis: Stock market declines are not your enemy. They are a great opportunity to snap up excellent companies at bargain prices. As the great Ben Graham once said, “Blessed is he who buys the dip.” Diamond hands, baby!
Summary: CFA stands for Chartered Finmeme Analyst, but it can also stand for Chick-Fil-A. The popular restaurant chain is currently limiting the number of sauces that it’s giving out to customers due to supply shortages and limited stock.
Dr. Parik’s Diagnosis: In case you doubted the power of diamond hands, keeping those unused sauces in the cupboard for a few years would have finally come in handy. In fact, you could try to sell them back to Chick-Fil-A for a tidy profit. Now that’s what I call a deep value arbitrage opportunity.
Summary: For some more optimistic news, New York is cautiously reopening as vaccine rollouts and distancing measures have curbed the COVID-19 pandemic. Starting May 19th, restaurants, museums, theaters, and retail outlets will be allowed to reopen at full capacity.
Dr. Parik’s Diagnosis: With city workers slowly getting back to their office routines, the Midtown uniform has been spotted in its full glory. Patagonia vests are back. Yes, nature is healing.
Summary: A meme summary would not be complete with at least one mention of Elon Musk. After purchasing $1.5 billion of bitcoin and accepting it as a method of payment earlier this year, Tesla has stepped back and stopped accepting the cryptocurrency as a payment method, citing environmental concerns about the use of fossil fuels when mining bitcoin.
Dr. Parik’s Diagnosis: It’s no coincidence that just a day ago, Elon Musk tweeted a poll asking whether Tesla should accept dogecoin for payment. My guess is that he wants to substitute bitcoin payments for dogecoin. Clearly, it’s only a matter of time until Doge replaces the US dollar.
So there you have it! That was the week in memes. Now here’s what the doctor is prescribing:
- Infinite money will not prevent a divorce (and make sure you’re packing)
- Stockpile tendie sauces with diamond hands
- Wear your Patagonia vest with pride
- Get ready for the dogecoin standard
~ Dr. PP out